At What Age Can a Child Refuse Visitation in Wisconsin

When Your Child Refuses Visitation

Many divorced parents experience times when their child refuses visitation with the other parent. This leaves them wondering well-nigh the reasons for their resistance and what they tin can do about it.

Equally kids get older, they sometimes resent how visitation seems to interrupt their plans. At other times, a child may feel bitter most the non-custodial parent's significant other. Plus, in that location are situations where the child may have a valid reason for not wanting to go.

Whatever the reason, information technology can put you lot in a bad position. If you don't comply with the visitation schedule, yous can get in trouble for not making them go. On the other hand, it is pretty difficult to force a teenager to visit the other parent if they don't want to. If you're facing this situation, keep reading to acquire what your options are.

• When can a child decide whether to visit or not?
• Can the kids be excused from seeing their dad until they are ready?
• At what age can children choose to spend less time with their dad?
• Can a 17 year erstwhile decide when to visit?
• Do I have to make my child visit her father?
• Can I stop visitation if she doesn't desire to visit her father?
• What if my son is of a sudden agape to go to his Dad's?
• Would a judge order counseling if my son doesn't want to see me?
• Tin a teen to choose if they want go for visitation or not?
• Can my teens refuse to spend time with my fiancé and me?
• What if my child doesn't want to visit her abusive begetter?
• Am I held responsible if my teenager refuses to visit his father?
• Can he strength visitation if my about 18 yr one-time doesn't know him?
• If my xviii year onetime refuses visitation, tin can he stop support?
• Can they abort me if my child refuses visitation?

When can a child decide whether to visit or not?

Lisa's Question: I am some other single mom with a visitation issue and business organization. My 9 year old son is expressing a lot of dissatisfaction nearly having to miss out on his key events to visit his male parent. He visits his Dad 6 weeks in the summer and one weekend a month. He has made a social club level soccer squad, which requires more than of a commitment. I do not have command of his attendance when he is required to visit his father. My son is very upset considering he may be eliminated from the squad if he continues to miss games/practices. Does he have any say, and is in that location an age when a child can determine whether or non they want to visit a parent?

Brette's Answer: It is difficult when children reach an age where they start to have commitments that don't mesh with visitation. A court would counterbalance the importance of your son's activities against the importance that he stay connected to his begetter, and information technology's probable staying connected to his father is going to seem more important. I would propose yous endeavor to detect a compromise. Talk to your ex and explain to him how important these games and practices are and see if he might come down for them instead of taking your son to his house all the time. I would too advise you talk to the coach and explicate the state of affairs.

Tin can the kids be excused from seeing their dad until they are ready?

Anna'southward Question: My children (10 and 12) have witnessed their father verbally abuse me for years and saw it escalate to physical violence in July. They've been living with his bipolar rages, lack of interest in them, emotional and verbal abuse our unabridged marriage and are terrified of him. He has been ordered to have supervised visitations at a center, but the kids are not fix to go into a visitation center and see him. Can they go in and say they don't desire to run into him and be dismissed until they are more than ready for this?

Brette's Answer: Children can and do refuse visitation. You as the parent must comply with the order though, merely no ane can forcefulness them to comply. Therapy could exist a very good thing for them and in improver to helping them cope, the therapist could and then show about their emotional country and what kind of visitation (if at all) would be healthy for them. Yous should discuss all of this with your attorney.

At what age can children choose to spend less fourth dimension with their dad?

Janet's Question: My 2 daughters are nine & 12. How former must a child be to make a request to the judge that she wants to spend less time with her father? The current schedule is nine overnights with me and v overnights with their dad, on a rotating schedule.

Brette's Answer: There is no law about this. Each state has different case law that indicates what kind of influence the child can have on the determination at various age ranges. It depends on that particular child's ability. The decision is never completely upward to the child.

The thing to sympathize is that most kids go through phases where they want to spend less time with one parent or the other. The request in and of itself is not going to be plenty. At that place needs to be some proof that a change would benefit the kids. At 9 and 12, they are one-time enough to express an opinion, but their opinion is not going to be decisive. If you want a alter, you demand to prove the court why the current plan isn't working and how a change would assist the kids. Is this schedule confusing for them? Is it difficult to deal with school while going and back and along similar this? Would they benefit from a footling more than stability? These are the kinds of bug that demand to exist addressed.

Can a 17 year onetime decide when to visit?

Tracy's Question: My 17 year old has had some problems with his dad and on occasion has refused to become to the visitation. However, I have encouraged him to get anyway. Are there rules that state he HAS to go with his dad every fourth dimension or does he accept the option to pick and cull? My son wants to see his dad but there are times he doesn't want to get from Friday-Monday. My chaser says he gets to choose, but my ex'southward chaser says he doesn't.

Brette'south Answer: No court is going to strength a 17 twelvemonth erstwhile to go on visitation if he doesn't want to. A child so close to majority usually has his preference followed. You're doing the correct thing in encouraging him to go, simply it's up to him. I call back your attorney ought to be communicating the situation to your ex'due south chaser - that would exist the easiest way to resolve this. What would be best is if your son could larn to take an independent relationship with his dad where he arranges time to spend together on his own.

Practise I accept to make my child visit her begetter?

Jill writes: Please give me some help and advice. My 14 year old girl does not want to visit with her father. He drinks and keeps his house unclean. I take been ordered by the courtroom for her to go, and gave my lawyer many items to back up my daughter's reasons not wanting to. Do I or my girl accept whatever other options?

Brette'due south Reply: I think it'south terrific that yous have made the endeavor to allow your girl fourth dimension with her male parent. It's besides very responsible of yous to follow the court order - you don't want to find yourself in contempt of court. Withholding visitation tin can be grounds for a change in custody, then yous don't want to become there. I understand your concerns though. I accept several suggestions for you. First of all, y'all need to know your girl is not the showtime and certainly won't exist the last teenager who disagrees with a visitation program. Part of being a teen is rebelling, making contrary decisions, and testing. There were probably times when you were a teenager that you didn't want to spend time with your parents, and it'south no different for kids of divorced parents. Your daughter'southward feelings are important, but as her parent, you have to expect at the big picture and see that it is important for her to have a relationship with both of her parents.

At present that being said, I completely sympathize your worries almost what is happening at his firm. If it's at all possible endeavour to sit down with him in a neutral, no-conflict mode and share your concerns. Don't accuse and don't judge. Instead, tell him how your daughter is feeling. Stress that you really want them to spend time together and say you're hoping peradventure together you can come with a manner for your daughter to feel more comfortable at his domicile or with him. The key to this conversation is to try to arroyo it like y'all and he are solving a problem together, not as if you are against him (and this is not to say you aren't totally entitled to do and so, but it's not going to be productive). If his house is a mess, what if he takes her out to eat once a week instead? There are alternatives. You just take to find some that will piece of work.

If this doesn't work, it might be a good idea for your attorney and yous to have a serious face to confront talk. You need to discuss in detail what your concerns are with specific incidents. To accept grounds to change visitation you've got to have some existent facts and solid incidents that show he is putting her in bad situations. Your daughter's opinion is important and a court will take into the consideration the stance of a teen, simply past itself information technology isn't enough. She is withal a minor and it'south in her best interest to have ii parents in her life.

I worked with many families who were in similar situations to yours and I know how hard and frustrating it is for you. The fact is that yous tin can't change who he is and neither can your daughter. Y'all have to either discover a way to piece of work with him or a way to convince a estimate that he is not fit to take intendance of her. And you tin can focus on helping your daughter cope with whatever issue you have past having her encounter a counselor who can help her work through her feelings about her dad. I wish y'all both the best of luck. ~Brette~

Can I terminate visitation if she doesn't desire to visit her father?

Susan'south Question: I have a custody understanding which puts me as primary care giver of my girl. Do I have the legal right to terminate her from going to her fathers if she is persistent and cries ofttimes and gets angry at me and throws fits because she has to get to his house and doesn't want too?

Brette's Answer: No you don't. In fact, it is your responsibility equally the custodial parent to encourage her to go and help her work through her feelings. This is not at all abnormal. Near kids have resistance to visitation at some point.

If yous give in, y'all're giving the kid control of the situation. Instead, I would suggest several things. Depending on her age, try to find out what her objection is. Then try to create coping mechanisms to deal with those concerns. Get her father involved so he knows what'south going on. If you and your ex can work together and present a united front, information technology will help her get through it.

What tin can I exercise if my son is suddenly afraid to become to his Dad'due south?

Suz's Question: My son is 5 and has been going with his dad since he was one. Suddenly, he doesn't want to get anymore to the point that his male parent has been calling the police because I won't forcefully put him in the motorcar. My son says that he is scared of him. We currently accept shared custody and he is threatening to file for 50-50 custody. Volition a judge grant this if the kid doesn't even desire to become for a weekend? I really don't want my son to stop upwards suffering more than than benefiting.

Brette's Answer: Information technology sounds like yous need a professional evaluation of what is going on. Why is your son afraid? Sometimes children go through stages where they don't want to go and have no expert reason, but there could exist a existent problem. It too sounds like the exchanges are filled with tension and this could exist making your son upset, or more upset. You lot could take your son evaluated by a therapist to endeavor to find out what is going on. Y'all could accept someone else exercise the hand-offs, so that yous and your ex are non together. Depending on what the therapist says custody may need to be adjusted.

Would the gauge order counseling if my son doesn't want to come across me?

Vida's Question: My 14 year old son has been refusing to live with me and has stayed with his male parent. I accept only been able to see him at his father's home, spent special occasions together and take taken trips as a family unit. I did not get to courtroom because I was afraid my son and his male parent would become even angrier and I would see him fifty-fifty less, just I am faced with the reality that I may not be able to meet him anyway. Although I know this is a subtle case of Parental Breach, I am non seeking an adversarial process. I only want to come across my son. His father is not going to fight me for custody. He doesn't actually have to because our son is refusing to be with me. Would the judge at to the lowest degree order counseling for my son and me?

Brette's Answer: I recollect information technology is good to never give up on your kid. Asking for some visitation and counseling is an fantabulous idea. A therapist tin can assist both of yous figure your human relationship out. Information technology's of import that you approach this carefully and not out of anger, but out of love and concern and make that evident to the court and your kid.

Tin a teen choose whether to go for visitation or not?

Victoria's Question: My parents are divorced and my dad and I don't get along. Can I choose if I desire to get to his house on the weekends or can he force me? Is it legal for a teen to choose if they want to go or not?

Brette's Answer: Y'all should talk to your mom almost this. Your opinion is very important to the court. However, whether you similar information technology or not he is your dad and will exist for the rest of your life. Cutting him out of your life completely is not the reply. Divorce is difficult for everyone involved. I think information technology would exist peachy if your mom could help you find someone to talk about this - maybe a counselor or therapist.

Can my teens refuse to spend fourth dimension with my fiancé and me?

Mary'southward Question: I have been divorced for 4 years. I have been seeing a man for 18 months now and nosotros are planning on getting married. My 14 year old triplet boys pass up to meet him and spend fourth dimension with u.s.a. as a couple. Are they immune to brand that conclusion?

Brette'due south Answer: Hi Mary. Children do non become to make up one's mind about visitation. However, once they become teens, it is harder to forcefulness them to get. The question hither is how is your ex handling this? Is he encouraging them to become? Is he maxim bad things nigh you or your boyfriend? It is oft hard for teens to come across and create new relationships with stepparents. I would encourage y'all to seek the assistance of a therapist if y'all can't brand whatever progress.

What if my child doesn't want to visit her calumniating begetter?

Ami'south Question: My ex-husband was charged with emotional maltreatment of our fifteen-yr old daughter. Nosotros attended mediation and mutually agreed in writing that our daughter could cull when to go on visits. My ex then turned around and accused me of custodial interference. Our daughter was already in counseling at the time, but the counselor has refused to write a letter of the alphabet or appear in court over fears of being sued by my ex. If a instance of emotional corruption was substantiated by Kid Protective Services, simply I tin can't get a guardian advertisement litem appointed and her sometime counselor won't testify, what options do I accept?

Brette'southward Answer: You can subpoena her counselor. A finding of child abuse is significant and persuasive to the court. If yous have a written agreement that your daughter could choose to become or not, he doesn't have much to stand on to accuse y'all of custodial interference. You demand to go an attorney.

Am I held responsible if my teenager refuses to go?

Linda'south Question: My sixteen twelvemonth one-time son does not become along with is dad and does not want to become to his house for visitation. I attempt to tell him it is courtroom ordered and he should try to ameliorate his human relationship by going and talking to his dad. What is my responsibility in trying to force him to go? (My ex has said he'd take me to court on contempt charges). I cannot elevate him out the door -- what steps do I take and then the court volition know I have tried to enforce the visitation schedule?

Brette's Answer:
Honey Linda, I know how difficult your situation is. You're caught in the middle - yous want your son to have a relationship with his dad, but you don't desire to go the bad guy by forcing him to go. Information technology sounds to me like y'all're doing all the rights things. All you can do is encourage your son to become. As long equally you adapt the visitation times and make your son bachelor, it's unlikely a courtroom would have whatsoever problem with what you're doing. Your son is sometime enough to brand up his own heed about the state of affairs and if you did have to go dorsum to court, the judge would merely talk to him and become his perspective and you wouldn't be at fault. No 1 is going to suggest you take to force him to get at gunpoint.

You might endeavor talking to your son about changing the schedule. Instead of going to stay at his dad's house, what if he just had dinner with him or went to a sporting event 1 dark a week or in one case every two weeks? I've oft found that teens aren't aware that at that place are options and they simply run into the situation equally take it or leave it and reject it out of hand. You lot could also find out what about the visitation it is that he doesn't similar. He might take very specific things that bother him that could exist inverse, for instance having to spend time with his dad'southward girlfriend or not beingness allowed to see his friends while at his dad's firm. He may besides be having a typical teenage clash with his dad about rules or responsibilities. Find out what's going on and see if there are whatsoever fixes.

I would too suggest you endeavor to talk to your ex yourself and tell him yous're on his side and you lot want your son to go, merely that he is at an age where forcing him to go is simply going to cause resentment. Talk to your ex nearly the kinds of options I've suggested above. Tell him that maybe you can piece of work together to find some alternating solutions that will work. Evidence him you want to go far work. Another possibility is for your ex and your son to meet a counselor together to try to resolve the issues between them.

Tin can he force visitation if my most 18 year one-time doesn't know him?

Bernadette's Question: The father of my 17 1/2 yr. erstwhile daughter has never had any type of contact with her. When she was vii, she wanted a relationship with him and I reached out to him, but to be rejected. Ten years later, the shoe is now on the other pes, and she does not want a relationship with him. I've tried explaining to her that this might be a good thing for her to finally get to know her father, but she is very determined near not wanting to meet him. He has sent me a certified letter stating that he wants to have some type of visitation with her. Otherwise, he volition have me to court. What are the chances he'll go visitation?

Brette's Answer: I agree with you that it might be a skillful thing for her to get to know her male parent. However she is too old for him to force information technology through the courts. He's probable to become nowhere. Information technology'southward not really upward to you lot - she'south old enough that her stance volition be what the court listens to.

Can he finish support if my 18 year sometime refuses visitation?

Diane's Question: My daughter is 18 but still a senior in high school. I am taking my ex to court to go on the child support till she graduates. Does my daughter still have to see him? She doesn't want to equally she is not comfortable with him as he drinks a lot. If she doesn't see him can he stop the kid support?

Brette'southward Answer: Kid support and visitation are two split up things. Also, visitation generally ends at age 18 when the child becomes an adult. At that indicate, it is up to the child and parent to proceed their relationship as they wish.

Tin can they abort me if my child refuses visitation?

Phylenne's Question: Is there a law that protects a mom from existence held responsible for the daughters' refusal to go with dad on visitation? My children refuse to visit their father because they are agape of him. He has previously used his own flesh and claret for sex activity for his buddies in the past. I take to represent myself because I haven't institute a lawyer who has time for our case. His lawyer said at the acknowledge/deny hearing that information technology is their plan to lock me upwardly at the hearing and option upwardly my daughters. Their dad is rated 100 percent mentally disabled, and has a record of being involuntarily committed to a psych ward for half dozen months for harassing a woman. Help!

Brette's Answer: If you practise not ship your children on visitation, information technology is considered custodial interference which tin can exist the grounds for a change in custody. Get an chaser and present your allegations to the courtroom nigh why he should not have custody. Ask that a guardian advertizement litem be appointed to represent the children and their point of view so that the courtroom tin be made aware of why they don't want to get on visitation. Good luck.

By | Updated Dec 27, 2021

Related:

• Other Child Visitation FAQs
• Child Visitation Problems and Options
• What to exercise when your kid resists visitation
• More answers from the Legal Practiced

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